Their are those who have wonderful memories of school but for me they are nightmares. I was picked on so bad that I almost droped  out. Pushed into lockers and pushed down stairs. I once had erasers belted at my head. It got so bad that I thought about dropping out, but then I realized that if I did that I was lettting the bullies win. I would achieve nothing buy  walking awary  so I stayed. The scars I carry still remain and now as a mother I am taking a stand.

I was in the eighth grade when my friends who were the root to my happiness decided to turn on me and call me names because I was hanging out with other people. I was different because I was trying other things and changing into a new person. They would get mad at me for not sleeping over their houses or not gossiping about people with them. They would get angry with me for being nice to the people they thought were "losers". They had a lot of grudges against me for no reason, and it all confused me on just because I was being nice they had to hate me? It did not make sense to me at all. I was someone who made sure I was nice so people liked me because my personality was the type that I hated to be judged and hated on because of actions I did to keep others happy. One day my whole world changed. I walked into school just like I would everyday, happy and full of laughter when I noticed my friends become quiet when I went to sit down. They told me I wasn't welcomed anymore because I talked about them behind their backs and they dont like bitches who back talk. They started yelling at me and calling me names. I knew it wasnt true and I tried to tell them that I wouldnt talk about them like that and I asked who told them such a thing, but they wouldnt tell me. I knew it was a waste trying to get them to listen. I knew they just needed a reason to hate me and kick me out of their friend group and so they made up one telling the whole school I was a liar and a pathetic piece of shit. Nobody treated me the same and nobody would talk to me anymore because they thought I was someone who talked about people and treated them badly. I hated myself. I knew this was not fair to me because half of those people who shut me out, I helped them through tough times in their life and made them happy again in their darkest moments. It just did not make sense how one day everyone would talk to me and I would make sure they were having a good day that day and tell them to continue to have a good day, but then the next, I was hated by almost everyone instantly because of a few words those girls said. They had so much power and it scared me. I went throughout my last year of middle school with only a few friends. My eighth grade history teacher became my best friend and everyone called me the teachers pet but they had no idea what I was going through and how much she was helping me. They had no idea. I still cry sometimes thinking about that year of hell I went through. It only got harder throughout those final months. I had thought about taking my own life many times but I knew I had to stay strong for what reason I dont know, but I knew I couldnt let them win. I had applied to a technical highschool where I wanted to start fresh with all new people and they had no idea about the words I was called and the struggles I went through. I had been accepted and greeted with the change I knew I rightfully deserved. My best friend and I were both accepted to this school and I was so grateful to be able to start fresh. Little did I know that school year would be just as awful as any other. Everything was going to great for the longest time of my freshmen year in highschool. I made so many new friends and my grades were great! My best friend and I were not getting along so well though, and I didnt like drama and so we stopped talking for a few months after having a big fight. I stayed quiet for a while thinking about my own thoughts. After those few months we apologized to each other and things seemed to be doing okay. Until the night she decided to change. She was being peer pressured into drugs and she has had a rough past involving drugs. I wanted to be there for her and I was, I was telling her this was not the way to go and I was here for her and she did not need to resort to drugs. She told me she was done with my bullshit and that I was being a bitch for not understanding her point of view. I had stopped talking to her after that, she started rumors about me and said things I wish she had not said. People looked at me differently, treated me differently, and most of all pitied me. They felt sorry for me and I hated that. I had the most amazing friends who stuck by my side but my thoughts were strong. Those words she would throw at me were nasty and I felt like this was my life just last year. She knew my weakness levels because she was the one who had stuck by my side last year and that scared me. I had yet again thought about killing myself many times and my friends got rid of my thoughts which I was thankful for. Without them I dont know where I would be. I am still going throughout my freshman year and I am almost finished. The whispers on the bus continue when I get on every morning, the giggles and scoffs and "thank you gods!" when I get off in the afternoon continue, but I know that soon enough it will all be worth it. I just know I have to stay strong. I still sometimes let the thoughts get the best of me and I will cry and cry and cry, but I cant always be strong. I will fight back and I wont be the victim as far as Im still standing. I dont tolerate bullying to others because I know what it feels like. It all started when I was in the eighth grade, but it ends now by sharing my story. 

As a kid, I was insanely skinny in order to be in a modeling class. Only 37 lbs. at ages 7-9. I was called super skinny, twig boned, etc. So I ate and ate and ate...and did I mention I ate? Well I did and became 124 lbs. by sixth grade, I was 11.... So the jokes went around about how I was a donut, a "garbage disposal", and a lot worse... I'm a blonde, so accordingly it was only a matter of time until I was considered the "dumb" one of my classes, especially when I hit middle school. From 1st-8th grade I was a loner. I had no friends and didn't know how to make them. I was afraid of the words...and the words made me scared of myself...I started self-harming at the age of 10 and didn't stop until 13. Nobody knows my story. I'm a junior in high-school now. And am actually really happy with what's happened in my life throughout high-school. Yeah there's always going to be drama, but I mean you can't exactly avoid it. I finally found that sense of belonging everyone was talking about. I'm living a successful high-school career. 4.3 GPA, honors and AP classes, a close circle of friends, a boyfriend I've been with over a year, and scars fading. Mentally the scars will always be there, but without the scars, I wouldn't have ever had the motivation to do better. I always thought I was worthless and should end my life. But I stopped and thought about anybody who might have been affected, and family was always in the back of my mind. So if any of you are trying to give up. Believe me when I say it's not even close to worth it. I'm proof, that bullying can make you stronger.

I used to be bullied every year in elementary school and I had no friends. I was bullied because of my weight and I would cry everyday. Everyone knew who I was but didn't make an effort to talk to me, and I didn't make one either because I was shy. I made my first real friend in 5th grade but I was still bullied. But then I moved schools and everything became better because I got to be a new person and I changed myself. I learned to stand up for myself and that no matter who tries to bring you down, you're stronger than them. And I always will be. 

I've been to many different schools. I've never really been able to call someone my "best friend". I've had a few attempts to open up to someone but all they do is tell everyone else behind my back. I get bullied for hanging out with guys. Not many girls like me and that's cause I'm the freak that's bisexual and likes Iizard's and used to cut myself. Guys really didn't care about that. They don't gossip. They enjoy the moment and not care about drama. I used to be the one that never gets a C on my report cards and had small glasses and perfectly picked up hair and that no one paid attention to unless they wanted to cheat off me. I've always tried to be nice and be friends with the outcasts but always seem to take their drama. When I entered Middle School, I joined the wrong crowd who would always fight and cause drama. I used to get chased and everyone talked behind my back... even my 'best friends'. When I left in the middle of 8th grade year, I went to a different school and was called a freak from day one. All girls hated me for being 'pretty' and called me a whore since the first week even though I never wore shorts or skirts and im a virgin. Now I'm in 9th grade and when I walk down the cafeteria aisles, I can sense everyone staring at me and laughing at me. Last week, I got a anonymous message saying "Kill yourself. You're unwanted." I went to a therapist a week ago also with my mom because of me self harming. I haven't gone to my complete breaking point, but you never know.

I've been to many different schools. I've never really been able to call someone my "best friend". I've had a few attempts to open up to someone but all they do is tell everyone else behind my back. I get bullied for hanging out with guys. Not many girls like me and that's cause I'm the freak that's bisexual and likes Iizard's and used to cut myself. Guys really didn't care about that. They don't gossip. They enjoy the moment and not care about drama. I used to be the one that never gets a C on my report cards and had small glasses and perfectly picked up hair and that no one paid attention to unless they wanted to cheat off me. I've always tried to be nice and be friends with the outcasts but always seem to take their drama. When I entered Middle School, I joined the wrong crowd who would always fight and cause drama. I used to get chased and everyone talked behind my back... even my 'best friends'. When I left in the middle of 8th grade year, I went to a different school and was called a freak from day one. All girls hated me for being 'pretty' and called me a whore since the first week even though I never wore shorts or skirts and im a virgin. Now I'm in 9th grade and when I walk down the cafeteria aisles, I can sense everyone staring at me and laughing at me. Last week, I got a anonymous message saying "Kill yourself. You're unwanted." I went to as therapist a week ago also with my mom because of me self harming. I haven't gone to my complete breaking point, but you never know.

So, Ive always been the kid who doesn't have a best friend. There more like aquaintances. I've always have been kind of popular. But something happened that changed my life. I began to have nervous breakdowns and I felt like I was insane. It triggered a disorder that's not very common. Instead of the usually nail-biting.. I picked my eyelashes. It made me feel so bad about myself. My mom called me a cancer-patient because she doesn't understand how hard it is to quit the habit. Kids at school began to comment on it. I went home angry and crying. I always thought I was normal just a had a flaw. People made me feel like a monster trapped. I wanted to die and just leave everything. I was always awkward anyways and this made it worse. It was terrible. I began to go to therapy, which helped my anxiety but my eyelash issue still exists. Am I really a monster?

I've been bullied a lot, and for different things. 3ed grade, I was bullied for my speech impediment. 5th, for not being the popular enough kid. 6th was for being unable to control my emotions. Now, in 7th, I am hated all over. What people don't realize is that it's not one person. It just feels like everyone. I will be in class, and no one will want to work with me. I will be wallking in the hall ways, and kids will look like they are scared of me, and then laugh. I will be just sitting in class, and people will tell me they hate me. Over a whole school year, it has gotten really bad. I honestly can't even say it stopped. But collective bulling can almost hurt worse then just one person. I know this because I have been the victim of both

when I was in middle school I used to get picked on a lot because of  my weight. I used to always get called Haley hippo, and for some reason people called me betty white too. I got to the point to where I just couldn't stand it anymore so I did something about it. I told the principal and the guidance counsler and had to start sticking up for myself. After I started sticking up for myself they stopped calling me names and everything just stopped.