Hi guys,

I was bullied from 4-5th grades mainly, going through most of the standard comparatively less-severe experiences of it. It sure did feel awful though, and I remember having a hard time understanding why it was happening.

Also, looking back one of the things standing out is how I kept putting myself in situations where it could happen, b/c all I wanted was for those kids to accept me.

There were plenty of times where I was stuck with them b/c of school, but outside of that a kid's world is small, so we all shared the same neighborhood stomping grounds for playing on and if the bullies were there, I wasn't just gonna give up using our playground and go home.

So instead I kept coming back for more and was often bullied for it, though I did still get to play and had other friends there too.

The social dynamics of childhood is complex and challenging at best, so I don't know how other kids would respond to it but mine was to keep diving back in hoping that this time it would be better; just like someone might in an abusive relationship- which my own parent's certainly was.

The thing that shocked me most about this film was how incompetent almost everyone in it seemed to be at confronting the problem and discussing it.

The folks who tragically lost their boys seemed to be the only wise, honest and capable people I saw. Everyone else was just flabbergasted and confused, or downright full of lies, or incompetent.

It seemed clear that the only reason such action was taken to help Kevin was that the administrators were on camera.

And as for the parents, how could any of them possibly be surprised by what was going on??? Are they that out of touch with how kids are and what kids are like?

DID NONE OF THEM REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE A KID? 

I was SHOCKED to see no PARENT-TO-PARENT conversations in this film. WTF were these people so clueless about?

Are we that out of touch with our own children? Are we that out of touch with our own civil rights?

Is there some reason we're not taking the parents of offending kids to court OR AT LEAST HAVING A TALK WITH THEM? Is there some reason we're not documenting everything, or sending our kid to school w/ a hidden camera, or taking the school system to court?

HOW PASSIVE CAN WE BE????

I hear parents say "I tried everything" when what all exactly did they try?
-Talking to kid
-Talking to school
-Talking to school again
-Talking to police (sometimes)

HOW ABOUT DOCUMENTING THAT SHIT AND CONFRONTING THE OTHER PARENTS???

THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE ACCOUNTABILITY AND CONSTRUCTIVELY AGGRESSIVE ACTION TAKEN BY ALL OF US.


Put simply, in many cases if the bullying continues, it's because you as a parent or administrator are too dumb or too complacent to stop it.

So let's start at home:

1. Make sure as a parent your example of treating others fairly and sticking up for being treated fairly yourself is non-negotiably AWESOME.

Read some damn philosophy about humanitarian justice and healthy communication, and grow up enough to set the right relationship examples for your kids.

2. GET ON EVERYONE'S ASS from the offending kids' parents to the school administrators about doing the right thing. AND FOR GOD'S SAKE BE RELENTLESS.

3. GET RESTRAINING ORDERS FROM THE POLICE, or at least warn the responsible parents that you're willing to get them.

4. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Nowadays especially, a hidden camera isn't too hard to pull off.

5. BE WILLING TO SUE IF NEED BE.

6. Get your kid out of unhealthy environments and TAKE ACTION to link them up with kids of like mind that can be true friends.

7. Finally, get your kid active in programs that encourage his/her preferences (natural talents) and that foster teamwork in the growth of those talents.


Now for school systems and legal change:

1. Kids have just as much rights in the schools as any adult has in society.

2. So the penalties for documented, proven bullying must be fair, constructive and humane, but also absolutely horrifying to a child; for instance a bully could be made into a pariah, just like any other physical offender.

3. There should be social campaigns in schools, neighborhoods and groups of kids with their parents against bullying.

4. Those penalties and campaigns should also include ways that any bully can redeem themselves to those they hurt and be re-welcomed by the community with open arms.

5. There could be a scholastic court or community hearing system or something similar, where any accused bullies and their families can both stand in accountability and defend themselves and their own rights.

6. There should be far more valuable rewards given to kids who treat others the best.

7. Anyone who seems socially isolated should be constantly encouraged to talk and be fully honest, and be substantially rewarded for doing so.

8. The reaction to any observed mistreatment of others must be immediate and severe, BUT FULLY AND ACCURATELY INFORMED.

For instance, the bus should have been stopped and the bus driver should become outraged upon seeing anyone on the bus punched in an unfriendly way.

However, the administrator who admonish the hurt kid for not reconciling with his bully, while failing to punish the bully or at least first learn more about the situation was also an idiot who made the problem worse.

Any lack of disciplining the kids is unforgivable, as is lacking the insight to know whether or not you as a school authority figure are well informed.

So in closing, my story about bullying is that I've always thought that laissez-faire parenting, bad relationship and communication examples at home,  and overwhelmed, sometimes just plain dumb or dishonest school officials are to blame, within the greater dysfunctions of our school systems and society at large.

In short, our kids are being bullied or are bullies b/c we are all too stupid, complacent, or overwhelmed to bring them up otherwise.

Fixing the problem starts with a hard and truthful look at ourselves, and teaching our kids that real power comes from the law and how it works in an honest community.  Do you know of one?

I was bullied in college when I was 20 years old.

It started when one group hated me so much. I don't know why, they just keep attacking me in anyway they could reach. I talked bad things behind them to people that I thought they were trustworthy. But turns out, they weren't and they became friends with that group whose hated me. I tried to confront the problem right to the group, and I said sorry to what I've done and I told them that I shouldn't do that. I was trying to be humble to them by saying how awfully sorry I am. Even though deep down inside, I want them to say sorry to me too of things they've done before. Like slap me in the face, threw me with a big college book, tweeted awful things about me, embarrassed me in front of my college friends also my friends outside the college, yelling nasty words to me in front of public, and so many worst thing they did to me I can't even recalled. I could only stand still and trying hard to not cry in front of them. I don't even think I want to attack them back. I still think that they are human, they will eventually remind their selves to be kind again. At that time, I also think that I have done things that may hurts them until they hated me so much. So I stand still, until they went away from me. Right after, I just couldn't hold back anymore tears with no one I could trust other than my very closest friends and family. I only could cry and cry in front of them without even telling them why I cried. Until at the point that I need to be brave to share this. To share what happened to me all along at school.

At my age that time, I thought we can talk to each other to solve a problem. But I was wrong, cause I did try to be kind and said sorry at the first place but they didn't response me well. They still yelled nasty words to me. I just couldn't handle that anymore until I decided to have a break from my college. My lecturer asked me why I want to have a break when all my scores is great and no academical constrains. I couldn't tell her why, and just give her reason that I want to chase my career first (which this one gave me strong reason to have a break, cause I do want to chase it first).

Out of the blue, my lecturer found out why I want to have a break and tried to do mediation between me and the groups. It is what it is. Even though it's clear now and everyone's got attention to maintain good relationship ever since the mediation. But I still feel traumatized and need the break. I still feel under pressure every time I passed by my college building without even going inside of it.

So it needs to be stop right here right now. We never know what it can affects to people. It really kills. Everyone deserves peaceful life. We deserves bright future. Period.

Stand still, and be brave to face it. Be brave.

Both me and my brother were bullied in middle school. my brother was bullied for 3 years hey came home everyday crying and it was unbelievable because he was always saying how he was thinking of suicide. we were always talking to the principle and the kids but nothing ever change one day the lead bully hit him in the back of the legs with a bat, he was on crutches for weeks. then we had to move to a new school it worked out for him but not for me all the kids were picking on me because I was the new kid and the worst part was that my cousin was one of them it devastated the whole family and it got worse each day. so then my brother went to high school and I went to a new middle school but now we are both perfectly happy at our schools. 

everyone says that bullying hurts and it dose i've been (and still am) bullied and everyone always tell me tell an adult but when i do all they say is we'll try our best to stop it but nothing is ever done and i've gotten to the point whare i self harm but i'm not here to share my story i'm here to speek on the behalf of someone veary dear to me her name is Alexandra and she's a beautiful young women who was also my girlfriend she is the happiest and bubbliest person you could of met she was just soo happy all the time but even though she looked happy dosen't nessearly mean she was, she was constently picked on everyday and they called her every name in the book and it took a chunk of her and they even said that she was worthless and she should hang herself and stuff like that she told the school everything but they did nothing about it they didn't even talk to the girls so one day she couldn't taje it anymre and slit her own athrought i was devaestated when i found out but what sickened me was when i got back to school everyone said that she did it for attion and the school did not say anything about her it was like she disappeared and the school did not acknowlage her in any way not everyone is popular or "pretty" enough to be known when they comit suicide

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I was a victim of bullying since I was a child. Although I had a lot of companions and acquaintances, people mistreat me. They always seems to think that I have nothing to live on this world even when I prove them wrong.

I always thought that I'm a loner and nobody likes me. I grew up with a sheltered childhood.

Throughout the years most of my friends and companions are my fellow choir members at church and my friend from pre-school to high school. They are the only people who knows me well except for my parents. I really thanked God for them because the have full understanding of me. I consider them my true friends because we share each other the good and bad memories.

Every night I asked God for that one special person in my life to accept me for who I am and what happened to me in the past.

Although my self-esteem has been lowered. I just pray to God that I have already to forgive them and I am waiting for the day that the people who bully me will say 'sorry' to me.

To the victims of bullying out there just ask God to have the power to forgive those who bully you and let it be a reminder that if you have to revenge someone because you have been bullied, then you are making a bully out of yourself.

I'm Natalie, age? Doesn't matter.

Where I've been living, you are expected to be pretty, tan, prepy, etc. I believed you should be who you want to be, not how others want you to be. For that I was an outcast. I was proud of it too, well only for a little bit.

When I was in Junior High, I had multiple people every day call me weird, ugly, emo, goth, and etc. Was I like that? No, I was myself. But I got to that point where it started to depressed over it because I started to believe that's what I was. I had a girl tell me, on a social website in front of everyone to see, that I was a slut, I need to stop wearing make up because I was still ugly, and she was going to slit my throat, and feed my insides to my mother. I wasn't going to put up with that,that was ridiculous, not even on the standards of okay. I showed my parents, and we pressed charges on her, and what not. 

After that I was bullied more, I had so many people harassing me, for leaving the school then going back. People thought it would be funny to break into my locker and write over my gym clothes. Saying hateful things. Sadly I didn't know exactly who it was, or their actual reason for doing it.  I was done with it, completely done. With anyone, they should speak up, take action, find someone to help you.

People who bullies another person, is insecure about themselves, and no one should deal with that.. 

I'm Adriana, 14 years old

So this is my story on bullying...

In elementary i was one of the.. you know, sorda popular kids

In fourth grade there was this new girl who just came from a private school to a public. So she was talking to one of my friends and she told her that she lived on the same street i lived on and i was eavesdropping a little and i said "hey, i do too" so she being a really bubbly person she hugged me and said "Yay! Neighbor buddies!" so i was like haha yay i got a new friend. So she became really attached to me and she would follow me and that would annoy me but i dont know why i couldn't understand that she didnt have any friends yet! So me and two other friends made fun of her and talked about her- bullied her. She was so amazing because she forgave every time.. and i betrayed over and over again.. I felt so bad about all the things i did so i told her everything my friends said about her behind her back and told her to keep it a secret. My friends were bullying her the next day and she probably couldn't take it anymore (i wasnt there) and told my friends that she knew everything they had said because I told her! My friends turned against me and didnt really trust me anymore. One friend got over it in a year. The other friend and i had made up and we told each other secrets, the day she remembered what i had done she told everyone my secret.. I was completely embarrassed and enraged.. but i got over it.

In middle school my punishment began.

New people. new teachers. new everything. i hated it. There was this boy who was popular and i was seated next to him in class.. So one day i was being wrong minded and i  said to my friend "Why are you buttoning and putting on your shirt?!" (mouthed and whispered though) So to signify "Boys are here" i looked to the boy next to me repeatedly. He turned around and said "Are you talking about me?" I said no. but didnt tell him i was talking about boys in general.so he hated me ever since and he turned the whole popular crowd against me. Then this girl across from me in the table took my things and hit me... i laughed it off even though i was burning and disintegrating inside. I was made fun of for my weight. At home and in school... I can remember what my family members said clearly, like it happened yesterday "Long hair isnt going to cover your fat," "By the time she's 3 years older she'll be 2000 pounds." That killed me. To have it coming from my family who i thought i could be myself with. Shredded me! I had never experienced bullying in school so to have bullying wherever i went... was unbearable. Every night or any time i could get alone i would cry my eyes out. I didnt know what to do, or how to fix things... i was rebellious with my parents the kind of rebellious you would get from a 17 year-old. it was really bad.

And then i remembered in this whole hullabaloo that there was someone who loved me. i remembered someone that could make this all go away. that with all these sins, i betrayed. I fell to the feet of Jesus Christ our Savior. Oh how Jesus gave me mercy. Hallelujah! Jesus is good my friends. My whole life changed and flipped before my eyes. The girl who bullied me became my friend. 

I was happy. I am happy.

but then that friend who used to bully me was a bad influence and treated me wrong sometimes. So i had to say no more. But Jesus taught me to forgive my wrong doers and i think i have... i'm definitely not mad at them anymore.. but you know, the image is still there and i will try to forget it completely..

My life is good. God has protected me. I spent my whole life being raised in the Evangelical Christian teachings.. and i lost sight of Jesus for a long time... But He found me. I am so thankful! 

Fellow bullied friends, I'll pray for you. Please, Come to the feet of Jesus Christ. He loves you and He died for you. Come to Jesus. 

I've been bullied about since i skipped a grade in grand 3 you see i was always a bit smarter than everybody even at my young age and to make it worse my fammily had a bit of money so and to top it of i was not black but tan so i endded up getting called "Rich white brat". Aad this went on for a while untill once i had to go to the principal for people calling me names. This continued even to my first year of middle school were of course now the rich thing wasnt to big because iwas now going to a private school, but yet i was called a nerd. So up till now in grade 7 (year 8 were i live) i dont have much  bullying because i have changed a bit more to fit in but i know how you guys feel and now i am shwing a bit more of the true me and i guess people are coming to except it. So dont hid the true you embrace it and others will too.

I'm Adriana

So this is my story on bullying...