Ive been in the situation of bullying. Ive been to the point where I turn to self harm. Ive written suicidal notes to my parents, knowing I no longer wanted to be around, I felt unwanted. All it takes is one person to show that you matter and the chain reaction starts. I now stand up for those who haven't learned how. Its okay to stand up for what is not right. Never be afraid.

All my life I've been bullied. Since I was 5 years old I've been looked down on. I had an abusive violent brother, teachers telling my parents I was insane, fellow students beating me and verbally/emotionally bullying me. It's caused depression, anxiety, not being able to eat or sleep, self-harm, it stopped me from getting an education.  In more recent years it's been worse. I'm 14 and I was recently bullied for months on end by one single guy. He'd tell me i'm worthless, ugly, disgusting. He'd tell me to just kill myself because I wasn't worth being alive. He threatened to kill me because he hated me so much. Told me he wanted me to have to watch my family be raped and tortured.

This was all because I'm considered different. I'm gay, my mothers gay, I dress different, I'm opinionated and that's thought of as wrong. If I'm happy or in a good mood I am scrutinized and called weird or a nutcase.

 

No one knew what was going through my head, how I felt numb, that I couldn't feel anything anymore, how I wanted to die but I didn't want to hurt anybody. I didn't want to move, or say anything, and the times I did- it was only to break something. 

It reached the point where I had a breakdown. 

When my mother found out she called the school, arranged a meeting, constantly called to get this kid sorted out. Said he should be expelled. But all he got was a serious talking to.

You NEED to make a change. If you see a kid getting picked on, SAY SOMETHING, just try your best to help!

Us kids who suffer from bullying, we really need the help.

 

Hi my name is Amanda Heffle I got bullied at school I got push and shove and named called also they tease me about my waight it happen every day because I got bullied I had to be homeschooled and after being bullied I succeeding. . for people that is out there that is geting bullied talk to your parents or talk to someone you trust trust me it will get better you just have to take the right steps now I am starting a bullying support group for kids that got bullied .

When I was little, I always thought the world was a wonderful place. I never really knew how mean some people could be. I thought that if your nice to them, they will be nice to you. But as I grew older, I realized that it doesn't really work that way.

It all started in 6th grade. Me and my best friend since kindergarten had kind of grew apart. I tried giving her a friendship bracelet, but instead she purposely broke it and gave it back. I fixed it and gave it to another friend.. She didn't take it either.

Then, about half way through the year, I met Bailey. She was apart of the "popular" group and we never really hung out but we talked every now and then.

 When we got to middle school, all of her "friends" completely ditched her. They started calling her 'fat' and 'ugly' and then they told her that 'she totally ruined the whole "group"'. I was the only one who was there for her.

Well, she eventually moved because it was getting so bad. Even though she moved they still found a way. Cyber-bullying. It got to the point where she thought of self-harm.

One day, when I was at her sisters birthday party, we were in her room getting ready and she told me that she has voices in her head every point of the day telling her that she should commit suicide. This was very hard for me to take in. The only thing holding her back is her future and her friends/family.

Currently, we are still best friends. We are both 8th graders. She is enrolled in online-schooling and I go to public school with all of the people that bullied/bully her and others.

I have taken a stand to prevent bullying and I hope others will too. This is a very serious issue that we need to prevent for future generations. Thank you for reading this. I appreciate it and I feel and care for anyone who has ever experienced bullying. <3

You guys a probably wondering what ABF is right? Well I join something yesterday called The Anti-Bully Force. What we do is if we see any bullying we report it to the Anti-Bully Squad which they give the punishment. So I am happy to join because I see a lot of bullying and I also have a question there's a night staff at my boarding school that calls me an Ugly child and a nasty little girl cause I have a hard time cleaning my room in the morning and I don't like getting up because I am not a morning person. So I don't know if this is bullying or not. Because I feel like staff are supposed to help you, not bully you. Thxs Emily

So I wrote out my story in a poem kind of way, here it is:

Bullying makes a big effect on some people including me. It used to make me weak and shy. I am stronger than before. I decided not to let it get to me because if I let it get to me I would harm myself like I did before. I let it harm me so much I got depressed and started cutting myself. I would think about sucide all the time. I was too scared to tell my parents about my depression and how I got depressed. I wasn't myself and my friend Marissa soon found out. "Emily you can't hide like this." she said. "I know but I don't want to hurt myself even more." I said. I knew she was right. A girl named Jenna said to me 3 minutes later after I finished talk to my friend,"Your depressed than if your depressed you should go die in a hole!" I was stunned. I couldn't believe what I heard from a girl that was supposed to be the class president. "What?!" I said suprised. "All I said if your that depressed you should kill yourself!" After school I went home and told my parents I was depressed. I felt a little better after telling them. "Emily it's good your told us" said my mother. "Emily we're taking you to a hosptile." said my father. So I went to the hosptile and saw other people like me who were depressed. I meet a girl named Suzie. Bullying had hurt her so much that she had been in the hosptile for 3 months. Then I realized that I can't let it bother me. So 5 days later I went back home. I still think about what people say to me but I get over it faster. I know I can't let people bring my party down. I have to think more next time and be the stronger and taller person. Now I know that people can't pull me down. Only I can help them pull me down. If you guys are getting bullied and need help text me at (636)-300-7025

Me being at a loss for words is a rarity, but right now my heart is aching so bad that I cant seem to find the right words. When I signed up for this class, I was positive I would be able to teach the kids life lessons and maybe even change the hearts of many. Never did it occur to me that this class would teach me something or that I would get so much from it, especially so soon. Teachers have this unwritten rule/inside joke that we don't smile until after Christmas so that we can establish classroom management and respect from the students. I wonder what my teacher friends will think when I tell them I didn't just smile on week two, but I cried...in front of my students. Yesterday we started class with a short moving video about how words hurt. Then, I handed each student a perfectly identical piece of paper. I told them they could spread out where there was no chance anyone could see what was written on their paper. I also said they didn't have to write their name, but even if they did it would just be for ME to know who they were and that I would never disclose who said what. I asked them to write on the paper something in their lives they are struggling with or that is hurtful to them then crumble it up and raise it in the air. I would walk by with a glass jar and let them drop it in while I constantly mixed them up. This could be something that happened a long time ago, but that if it was still hurting their hearts they could write about it. This was not limited to bullying. The reason I decided to do this activity is because I could tell that when I told them scenarios of why they should treat their friends/peers a certain way and understand that everyone has a story they thought I was talking about third world countries or something. Many just couldn't comprehend that these things (abuse, hunger, etc) were happening to the same kids that walk down their hallways everyday. I played "perfect" a cover done by AHMIR for anti-bullying while they wrote. If it weren't for the music you could have heard a pin drop. It was incredible. But what was more incredible was how when I looked around I could see deep pain inside the eyes of some of my students. Slowly I would see a tear drop onto their paper. Before the song was over and people started looking around, eyes dried up because we are too big to cry right? I collected the last of the papers and walked across the room to sit alone so that there was no chance someone would even see the handwriting or ink color of the writing. I first read them to myself in case someone said something that made it obvious who said it. .................This is when it happened...............This is when I realized I was about to break the unwritten teacher rule.............This is when I felt like I was swallowing burning rocks..............This is when I realized this lesson was just as much for me as it was for them............My heart was breaking in front of 10,11, and 12 year olds. I slowly opened the papers to read things that I was not prepared to read. I knew there were kids who went home to an empty refrigerator, alcoholic family members, drug abusing family members, and more. But these stories went so much deeper than that. I opened a paper that talked about things I cant even utter....my heart felt like it was being pulled from my chest. I couldn't even try to fight the tears at this point. I remember opening one piece of paper in particular and all I could say is, "I want to get up and wrap my arms around you and hug you so tightly, but I don't even know who you are. I want to hold you and tell you how sorry I am that you had to ever feel what no child should ever feel, but I don't even know who you are. I don't even know who you are, yet I see you everyday and talk to you everyday". I held up the jar of wadded up pieces of paper and looked up to see the pain falling from the eyes of my sweet babies. It was completely quiet as eyes wandered around the room trying to figure out which one of their friends matched the wadded up piece of paper that talked about being physically abused by a certain member of their family, or what student matched the paper that talked about watching someone they loved being murdered. I asked "does this change the way you feel about the people you go to school with now?" Together everyone agreed it very much changed a lot of things. I reminded them that my jar was glass and that this wasn't a magic trick where I changed out the papers. These were real life struggles that our friends held in their hearts and hid behind a smile everyday. They were still puzzled as to how they never knew something so big that was happening in someones life. I asked them "what does someone who is sexually abused look like? or What does a child who was locked in a closet for days at a time look like? or What does someone who watched their sibling be resuscitated back to life after thinking they were dead look like? Are they supposed to wear a sign around their neck or a certain color shirt to show their heart is broken on the inside?" I explained that everyone would have to wear that certain color shirt of have some sort of sign around their neck because EVERYONE has a story, although some are more heart breaking than others. I had said many times over the last couple weeks "everyone has a story so be kinder than necessary to your friends" but for the first time THEY GOT IT!!! There aren't many gifts in the world that would top this day for me. I was able to watch pain fall from the eyes of these kids and not have to feel ashamed for showing their hurt. I was able to watch their hearts humble to the words that came off of those papers. There was something in my chest that burned for the rest of the day. I couldn't stop thinking about what I now knew about so many of my students. I wanted to hug them individually and tell them how much I cared about them and how sorry I was for the hurt their hearts burdened, but for many of them, I didn't even know who they were. I left school carrying a pain I had never carried from this building before. It's funny how God worked in my heart throughout this day and then it is even more funny what happened next. I was finishing up my dreaded weekly shopping trip at HEB and on top of my aching heart I couldn't find the taquitos despite my back and forth search of the store. I was about to give up when I heard the sweetest, loudest "MS. BEXLEYYYYYYYY" come from behind me. I turned around in time for her arms to wrap around me. One of my sweet babies from class had her arms wrapped around me as she was looking around for her mother. She told her mother "this is the best teacher in the world!!" That parent introduced herself to me and asked me "What is the best teacher in the world's name?". I introduced myself and she said "Oh yeah, I hear about your everyday!" She may have no idea what she did for my day by coming up to me in a public place and not being a normal "too cool for school" middle schooler who just gives you the quick smile and nod while passing by. For the first time in many hours my heart felt warm and full again. How did this tiny little girl have the power to completely change my day? Because of her random act of kindness!!! And she didn't even know she was doing it. What a beautiful gift she gave me!! Warmly, Amanda 6th grade Youth Leadership

I was bullied when I was younger.  I can't remember when it started, but I was in seventh or eighth grade.  I remember being called a geek, nerd, being called gay even though I was none of those things.  I remember being hit on and pushed around.  My ears being flipped by kids fingers.  I also remember hating school and thinking of ending my life many times, but never had the courage to do so, at the time that is what I thought anyway.  I would come home from school crying everyday.  My parents both worked so they never knew what I was going through.  It was not until my Freshman year that the hitting got so bad my parents found out and told Edgewood High School in Trenton, Ohio what was going on.  The school did nothing, but at the time there was no way to deal with bully's no plan of action for it.  I did make a friend named Joe Root though he was a Senior.  I owe him my life as he would take up for me and told other kids he would kick their butts if he ever caught them hitting or cussing at me and after that the bullying stopped that year.  If I knew where Joe Root was today I would thank him personally because he was my hero.  My Soft more year though Joe was gone and the bullying started again, it was at this point I started hanging out with the Hoods as we called them.  They were great friends and always took up for me, plus most bully's were afraid of them anyway they knew better than to bother me.  My Senior year I quit hanging out with the Hoods and people found out it was open season on me they thought.  I remember in class one day I had my head on the desk laying it down, and a kid hit me over the head with my books.  All I remember was feeling anger pure anger, so I got up without thinking and swung at him and punched him in the face.  The teacher told us to stop and the kid hit me in the face and knocked off my glasses.  I laughed I don't know why, but I never cried I just laughed at that kid.  The rest of the year no one picked on me and people wanted my to sign there yearbook and called me the rock.  I won't lie I am 41 years old and still today remember like it was yesterday the bullying I don't make friends, because I don't trust anyone I have a hard time in my own relationship with my Fiancé as she deserves so much better than me I believe.  I still have major self-esteem issues.  I was also raped when I was 16 buy someone I thought was my friend and that has left a scar forever.  I really wanted to die, but now I have a beautiful daughter and a step-son along with the best girlfriend anyone could ask for, so if I was asked if I had to go through all the bullying my rape and being adopted all over again to get to where I am today I would say yes.  My daughter last year was also starting to get bullied at the same school I went to, but I put a stop to that immediately.  I told the school officials if something was not done I would call all of the local TV News and have Edgewood Schools plastered all over them.  The school had a meeting with all the students and told them bullying would not be tolerated in the school and punishment would be severe, my daughter now can go to school without being bullied, if only that kind of compassion by the school was shown to me when I was there I wonder what kind of person I would be today.  If anyone wants to talk to me about there own problems please don't hesitate I would love to try to help in anyway I can.

 

[email protected]

 

Eric Sloneker

When I was a child, I thought the world was a great place. Something I could explore and find things in. As I grew older, however, I came to learn that I was VERY wrong. The world is nothing but fear and sadness. At least for me. I am an 18 years old bisexual girl who thought my life was not worth living anymore. I didn't want to tell ANYBODY about my sexuality, especially my family, because I was afraid they would want nothing more to do with me. I came out to my mom two years ago. It was the best and worst thing I have ever done. She said she accepted me for who I am and she still supports me to this day, but after I told her, she did not say one word to me for two weeks straight... I finally went on FaceBook the other day and told EVERYONE. I still haven't heard anything from my family. Anyway, when I was in high school and middle school, I was bullied for every possible reason. I would just brush it off in middle school, but as I got to high school, it got worse and worse with each passing day. Then, my Freshman year, I lost my grandmother, my best friend. I didn't want to be here anymore without her. So, I attempted suicide 12 times and almost succeeded four times. I'd get to that moment where you see stars and a bright light, and I'd finally take a breath. I don't know why I never could do it. I also started cutting. My ex-boyfriend ended up telling my mother about that. I was then put in therapy for a few weeks. It never helped. I have been cut-free for about a year and a half now. I still get to points where I want to cut. I'm always going to have these feelings, I'm afraid. I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression at age 14. I am going to have to be on medication for it for the rest of my life. Everybody tells me I'll just grow out of it, but they obviously have NO idea what it's like being depressed. They may complain of being depressed, but they have not felt the reality of it. If they ever do, then they'll understand what it's like. What it's like to feel completely out of control of yourself. To feel utterly alone. Not having a friend in the world there for you to talk to or to comfort you in any way. I am a freshman in college now and I only have one friend. Two out of the three roommates I have hate me. They really do. I have made a lot of mistake while I've been here, but I plan to make myself a better person from them. I am happy to say that I have found someone I know I can spend the rest of my life with. He knows about me, everything about me, and he accepts me as I am and loves me. No matter what. I do still get depressed a lot, but I am hopefully going to start seeing a therapist again for that. I also just wanted to say that is anybody, ANYBODY, needs someone to talk to about anything and everything, I am a great listener and I'll always be here for people. Even after they've left. Always. <3