In third grade I was called names and made fun of for the clothes I wore. Soon, the bullying escalated and it turned to physical bullying. I was beaten up for not "fitting in". My friends all left me because they got bullied for hanging out with me. I felt so alone and abandoned. I couldn't handle the pain anymore.....so I turned to self harm. It made the pain go away for a while. In fourth and fifth grade nothing really changed. I was still bullied. I had also stopped cutting for a while due to the fact of me cutting to deep. In sixth grade things got worst though. I was made fun of a lot and often told to "kill myself". I then started to self harm again but this time people found out. I was then sent to the crisis center. over the summer I found out that someone had made a hate page for me on instagram. if constantly told me to "go die in a hole" and called me names. I soon fell into deep depression. I'm in seventh grade now and things haven't changed. I'm still cutting and each time my cuts get deeper. And in all honesty I've lost all hope. I don't see the point in trying anymore. every time I do try I still get hurt either way. I'm on medication for my depression and am trying to make things better. over the years I've learned that even if I try I'll never be good enough for society. Well this is my never ending story. hopefully this will all end soon.

Before 7th grade I was popular in school, everybody knew me and they respected me. What else could I ask for? I had to move to other school on 7th grade and I tried to become popular, but everybody hated me. They ignored me and I had some friends. It wasn't until days later of my arrival that they demonstrated their hate. Everybody in the classroom punched me, I couldn't do anything I was so scared, I saw their faces laughing while they were punching me. I could resist the pain, but what I couldn't resist was the humiliation of everybody beating me. I started to cry and they where just laughing, when they got tired I felt so ashamed, stupid, worthless and scared that I didn't said a word. I sat on my desk and cried. The teacher wasn't there.

Their hate started to grow also. They called me "fag" (don't get me wrong, I am NOT gay), "ass" and other names. I started to feel more afraid each time and everyday. I just went to school to get good grades to make happy my parents. By the end of 7th grade, some kids started to madurate and asked me to forgive them, which I accepted. At the start of 8th grade, new bullies appeared, they said to me that I was ugly and no girl would like me. I was trying to get a girlfriend to feel at least loved and that somebody cared for me and that I was important for someone. I was emotionally damaged, I started to get shy and my friends went away and turned their backs to me. Sometimes i spent all school day alone and it was painful, on those days I just wanted to die or to be on 6th grade again. By the end of 8th grade, I was so shy that it was hard to me to ask a question to the cashier at the supermarket and I only went to socials to eat. I realized that I did't fit on that school, it was necessary to escape of my past and start over. So an opportunity to study on the US came and I accepted without thinking (all my life until the end of 8th grade i studied in Mexico).

I entered on 9th grade in the US, with little knowledge of English and a shy behavior I survived. Eventually I learned english but I was painfully shy, looking for a table was a struggle everyday in lunch, walking on the hallways was a struggle and even talking to new people. I used to feel how my throat closed when I went to church every sunday (i am catholic). Altough there were no bullies on this new environment, i was alone and I was a nobody. I still had the hope to be how I was on 6th grade. It made me cry at night when everybody was asleep and couldn't see me crying or hear my laments, I used (and still) to cry until I fell asleep. I was a dark and misterious guy that sat on the very last desks of a class. I mistrusted from all people, I was like a mistreated pup that hided when saw people coming, I didn't wanted to get hurt or being humiliated again. When I have no more hope, this beatiful girl showed up on my life.

This girl (let's call her Marianne) approached me and saw me everyday sitting alone on my biology class, I don't know what happedned, but one day she invited me to sit with her. As always, First I saw eskeptical her intentions, but I accepted. I felt good and comfortable with her. I saw clearly that she had good intentions and she would never harm me. Later she offered me her friendship, someone that never did to me since I started 9th grade. She treated me with respect and with kindness.

When 9th grade ended, I spent my summer reading. I accidentally found a book that talked about shyness and I found out that I had social anxiety, caused by the bullying. So from that moment I decided to stand out against bullying.

I was always heavy and taller than most elementary/middle school students. It wasn't until high school that everyone grew as tall as I was. This meant that clothes fit weird on me. I had been called, fat, ugly, unloveable, etc. Eventually it stopped in me for high school. 

From my personal experiences, when I had to deal with bullying, words meant NOTHING.. everything that was said went in one ear and out the other..weather the words were spoken by me, a teacher, or parent, the bullies didn't care, they're just words.. Also ignoring the bullies didn't stop their harrassment..it actually made it worse.. we need ACTION, because that always speakes louder.. ALL kids need to feel safe and they should be safe.. I think a child who is bullying another child in school, after school, via text or email, should be expelled/suspended frm school.. no warnings, co second chances, immediate action.. maybe that would deter the bullies

I'll be the first person to say that I've been blessed in the past in many ways -- but I'm convinced that the constant bullying and harassment that I experienced in the early days of my childhood have affected me throughout the days of my life. I have found that every time I was challenged -- with financial difficulties, relationship difficulties, and personal confrontations -- I have discovered this latent fear that returns -- fear that was borne of the nearly daily bullying and physical beatings and abuse that I experienced from both boys my age and, I'm ashamed to say, from my stepfather, if not physically then emotionally and verbally. (I got physical abuse from the other boys my age, from nearly the time that I started grade school to nearly high school. But my stepfather abused me nearly every day on a verbal basis.) To this day, I still don't know how to deal with it, and I'm afraid it will affect my life and decisions for the remainder of my days.

Although I do not receive much negativity as much as I did when I was younger, there are still times when it happens, and thankfully from my past experiences I have learned to become a stronger person. But without a doubt it still hurts, and bullying is absolutely NEVER necessary.

I was teased in elementary school, and I never fit in. I found myself alone a lot during recess. I tried making friends, but I was always shy and quiet and it was hard for me to come out of my shell. People just thought of me as weird, especially when middle school came around and I was going through a phase where I was depressed and never felt like I was good enough.

I didn't have many friends in school. I couldn't afford the trendy clothes to fit in, I didn't even really know who I even was myself. I was lost, alone, and felt like I had no one.

Thankfully I made some friends in high school, but I was still considered the weird outcast girl. I was constantly put down for what I wore, and how I did my hair and makeup, even though that was how I expressed myself (I later on become a licensed hair stylist and went to LA for makeup school). I would be walking through the hallways at school and kids would call out "HAIRSPRAY!" I remember at a Candlelighting Ceremony a kid tried to set my hair on fire.

I would come home every day relieved to be out of school, I absolutely hated going. It didn't stop there though. I would get anonymous facebook messages of people making fun of me and putting me down. I am just grateful to have had a few best friends that I could be myself around and have them not judge me. Thankfully it has been almost 7 years and I am still friends with these girls!

Fast forward to after high school, here I am, doing hair and makeup for fashion shows and photo shoots. I lived my dream in California (one day I will be returning), I even started modeling! I focused on making myself happy and trying not to care what people thought of me. It is definitely hard though and there are still times where I get prank calls, along with anonymous facebook, tumblr, or email messages.

I am still trying to rise above this, and it certainly can be hard. However I want to spread anti-bully awareness wherever I can and I want to become a spokesperson some day for the project. I want to spread love and light and as much positivity as I can and try to unite everyone and bring us all together. "I'm dreaming of a place where we can live without the hate, where unity is key and we no longer have to wait." ~

Much love,
Courtnie Marie Ross
www.CourtnieMarieRoss.com
www.facebook.com/CourtnieMarieRoss

I never knew how much bullying affected me. When I was about 12 years old my family moved to a new state. I had to start at a new school and had no friends and no one to talk to. I was small and skinny and a bit of a late bloomer. This on top of being the new kid made me a prime target for bullying. I wanted to be outgoing on my first day of school and try and make one friend that day. I remember at lunch time I tried to sit with a group of kids I didn't know, in the cafeteria. When I sat down to initiate even some small talk, one of them said something very mean and vulgar to me. I had never been spoken to like this before and it shocked me! even more it hurt! Sometimes when people use the expression "that really hurt me", we tend write it off as just hurt feelings to an offense, but I remember that day feeling actually and physically hurt by those words, deep inside me. It sounds silly but its true. That was the beginning of a long road. I was kicked, punched, bruised, attacked, trash canned, shoved into lockers, wedgied, insulted, and assaulted emotionally and physically. I remember certain people that I thought were my friends, who turned on me, and denied to other kids, being my friend. It hurt. It still hurts. not as much now, but it still hurts. It went on for years. I tried everything but it never stopped. after a while I grew numb. I learned to just deal with my problems and ignore the pain I felt, but it was always still there. I suppose that what got me through it was my faith in God. I was fortunate to be raised by a mother and father that taught me that I was a son of a Heavenly Father who loved me. He knew the pain I was feeling and the trials I had to face and he gave me the strength to endure them. After I graduated I realized that life is so much bigger than just high school or junior high. I didn't need to feel badly about being myself because most people are relatively the same. We are all capable of feeling things the same as anyone else and worrying the same as anyone else. we're all just trying to get through our days, weeks, and months with as much happiness as we are able to invite into our lives. I look back to those few years of pain that I had to endure and I didn't think that they affected me that deeply. When I think about some of the mean things people did to me I get tears in my eyes. Not because of how much they hurt me but more because they were so willing to hurt me and others. It makes me so sad to think that they were willing to selfishly seek some false sense of security at my expense. However, as insane as it may seem, I am grateful for that time in my life. Do Not get me wrong! I don't believe that anyone should ever have to go through that kind of pain and humiliation. However, I am now able to look upon life and know how utterly and direly important it is to be kind to one another. Kindness is such an amazingly powerful and valuable thing! It will get you anywhere you need to go, and it is as easy to use as simply making the choice to do so. I don't know if there is any wisdom in anything I've written down here, but I know that life is all about trials. How we deal with them is what makes us who we are, and so isn't it that much more important to to deal with our trials by being kind to others so that we can make the trials of life that much easier for them to carry? I am 28 years old now. I have a beautiful wife who loves me, a good job, food to eat, and a roof over my head. I have alot to be happy about and I am. But I cannot deny that I am affected to this day by what I went through as a kid. As happy as I am and as good as life is, the hurt is still there, and probably always will be. That is why I believe it is SO important to just be kind. Why would anyone want to share that kind of hurt with anyone else?

So I am actually a 25 year old woman working as an engineer now after completing my Masters degree last year. I was not your typical 'smart girl with lot of brains' ans I started off grad school with a modest academic background and modest skills, though I aimed and tried very hard to be competent and improve my tech skills in the last 3 years! 

The first year was mighty hard for me which led to losing my financial assistance from the school. I was terribly depressed with my performance that I decided to tough it out by pushing myself through than pulling out. Around this time, two girls who happened to be my roommates unfortunately also tried their best to try to disturb me when I studied leveraging the fact that I was poor in school but yet trying hard. You know how people get insecure when they see you rising beyond your means and circumstances ? They tried their best to trouble me, talked (gossiped) with the other grads about me, violated my privacy! - hows that ??! -- by breaking into my computer and internet!, spying on my study habits and books and notes when I was not at home!! -- how does that even sound ? also they cooked up stories about me around the campus saying I am jealous of everyone else's academic performance - -Why ofcourse ? I dint act out my negative energy in a negative way! I merely turned it into positive energy and used it to improve myself! Whats wrong with that ? Around this time, I got to know that I had some crippling social anxiety disorders which explained why I chose to stay silent to all this bullying rather than confronting them! I never talked back to these bullies! I chose to ignore them  -- something that made them even more insecure with themselves making them more ruthless in their behavior. All of this was so very mentally taxing to me. To this day, I can't forget and forgive these unfortunate people that happen to pace out the face of earth! Why can't people just choose to work on themselves rather than pointing fingers at others and finding someone else's faults ? The world will be a very peaceful place indeed if we choose to take care of ourselves and talk and gossip less about others. If someone's had similar experiences, I'd be happy to hear from you and also any potential advice on how to deal with this anger and feeling of being dealt unfairly. 

I can only hope that such people get caught red handed and punished. Schools, even grad schools!, need really strong systems around the way how minority/disadvantaged/disabled students are treated. This is very very crucial to a student's academic growth and performance. Even adults, as demonstrated with my story, need to be taught how to treat others. It is amazing how threatening a person can get due to their own flaws and insecurities! Instead if we teach our children to work on themselves rather than stay insecure all their life, we can hope to have better adults and eventually a better humanity! 

In grammar school I was bullied on the bus by a group of girls who adored our bus driver, when I came to the defense of my younger brother (who unfortunately had behavior issues) and I made a mistake saying it was the driver's daughter that was involved but it turned out to be someone else.  The bullying lasted until graduation from 8th grade but one of the girls, who wound up attending the same high school as me, wouldn't leave the incident in the past and continued to terrorize me until she graduated.  Luckily I had friends but that feeling of not feeling safe stays with you.  Even as an adult, I have been bullied on the job by women who form cliques, women who wish they had a certain trait you have that they don't and would consider me as a threat of some type.  Getting help away from these people (such as a therapist to confide in, joining social groups away from the same world as bullies and getting involved in activities I enjoy) makes a HUGE difference because there are people out there that will like you no matter what and make wonderful friends.  Don't be afraid to seek help from a therapist (esp the school guidance counselor).  They are there to listen and be supportive.  There were times in the past where I didn't want to go to school or to work and having a friendly, supportive, non-judgmental ear was a life saver.  You are not alone!