I'm a 27 year old Japanese American living in San Francisco, with a very strong head on my shoulders and am very confident in anything and everything I take on. My close friends now, would say that I am very outgoing and that I always wear a smile on my face.

But.. I would have never thought I'd be able to say that about myself throughout my middle or high school years...

Being the only _____ is never easy. ( homosexual, racial minority, obese kid, handicap, any number of absurd label/ societal category we as people in our communities have made for others and ourselves in our environments)

I was the only Japanese kid in my middle school, and one of a few in my high school. I was constantly picked on, bullied, called names, beat'n up and whatever unpleasant things kids do to kids to make themselves feel more in control of their own insecurities. 

I didn't know if it was out of boredom, or because they really hated me, that they did what they did. But what I did know was that it felt very unpleasant. Junior High was the worst, so when I moved up to High School, I started to dress, act, and even talk like people from other racial backgrounds. Just to fit in, just to feel like I was a part of something, a part of a group. Anything for my experience in High School to be different. 

I was "fitting in" better in high school through the first half of my freshmen year, but then it all happened all over again. I was going through my hip hop phase at the time, Eminem was making a name for being the first "white rapper" so he was somewhat of a role model. He seemed to be "making it" in a group that he was not really a part of. (Racially) He showed me that skill, confidence, and intellect would lead to results.  So here I was, wearing the baggiest of clothes, wearing my cap sideways, and rapping it out with my friends who were mostly black at the time. 

But just like any high school experience, there were fights pretty regularly at my high school.. and one day, there was a fight between the " skaters " and us black people... Seems weird right? Here I am, very Japanese looking, but being accepted as a part of the group who were all black except for me.  When this fight broke out, the "skaters" pointed me out, put a question up on my group of friends asking " why is the confused chinese man with you guys too?!" 

The fight ended with no side on top, but oddly enough.. some people in my group of friends started seeing me as different.. not a part of there group, and before long, I was alone once again. 

I wasn't picked on like I was in Junior High, but I still had virtually no friends. I was called "The confused Asian" for about a year after that. Had a few Asian kids to eat lunch with, but these guys were no better off. They just didn't try to integrate because they were only in the country for a couple years anyways. 

It was my Junior year in high school, when I took an art class where I met my first group of real friends. We had an art club at our high school, and we met once a week after school. It started with just one friend sitting next to me teaching me how to mix paint, the class was unlike any other.. I think it was because of the creativity and freedom of expression in the nature of a class like that, but biggest of all, was the existence of our warm, caring nature of our teacher. 

It takes only one person, one place. A person or place that makes you feel worthy. To allow yourself to understand your self worth. It just takes one. 

Things got much better, super quick after that one real friend.. we started having art club gatherings at peoples houses, had parties, made more friends, and supported each other through our high school lives. Things got better because I met a friend that allowed me to love myself, to let me understand that there were qualities in me that could be loved.

I'm still friends with my first friend from high school, and most of the people that were in that art club are people who are doing very good for themselves currently.. about 10 years after. It was a stroke of luck, but things got better and still are till this day. 

After falling in love with art (I started with painting), I allowed myself to grow, I learned that I too had a creative mind, something to contribute to the world. I loved myself and was able to love people and things. I loved education from there on, went to community college at first (because my grades were so bad graduating! lolz), went to a very good university, and started a career after I got out of Uni. 

I had a great paying job but was not "happy". So I just quit one day, saved money working restaurants, apprenticed in styling and designing hair, spontaneously moved to Japan for two years, and came back stateside, and am now making a name for myself here in San Francisco. 

I believe that because I had a somewhat rough childhood, and because I struggled.. my ability to deal, my threshold for pain is far deeper than many people I come across on a daily basis. 

People ask me, " wasn't it hard going to Japan not knowing anybody?" but to be honest.. I've known a place so much lonelier and far more dark. I've built a sense of indestructible confidence. 

People ask me "don't you regret leaving such a high paying job?.. and you do hair now?" but in all honesty.. true regret comes from the things you don't do.. and because I was so unhappy once, I truly know what it takes to make myself happy.

I jumped on Facebook this morning and came across this website. I thought my story might help some. A long post I know, but I want you to understand 2 things. 

- It just takes one person or place to allow you to understand your self-worth. You are loved, and even if it doesn't feel like it now, you'll know when you find him, her, or it. Patience is a tough game, but learn it, and you'll be surprised at it's benefits. 

- You are the only person that can make you happy. No matter who you are, what your "condition" is, you've made it this far.. YOU ARE STRONG. 

I am a strong, caring, compassionate and loving human being, and without all of the experience in my life, I would not be able to write this today. 

I am confident that one day, through the knowledge and efforts of those behind movements like this one, we will as a world community be able to embrace and love each other as we should. You are me and I am you, one love, one place, one soul.

My regards,

Ken 

It was a long time ago that I was in elementary school, but now with my first born starting school, my past experiences come flooding back.  For the first time this year my four yr old came home using words such as "Loser", "Stupid" and "Shut up", words that we don't use in this home, he must have gotten it from school and I just hope people did not use those words on him.  

When I was a kid, there was no name for bullying.  Kids were just being kids.  It was because I was shy or my grades were not good or I was doing something to provoke the other kids considering I was not good in sports and I developed very early.  Never mind the fact that I was a twin and twins tend to be shy and my poor grades were a result of being bullied.  So, there was no one I could really go to and talk about this because the teachers would always find some way to blame me.  My parents still lived in the time when kids are just being kids and so I had little support.  My sister was not as sensitive as I was and was able to get through it quickly.  Well, today, we know more and I hope my son never has to go through what I went through.  In grade 6, I had my desk knocked over in front of the whole class, I was picked last for teams in gym class, I was called stupid and kids would put glue under my nose and tell me to sniff it because i was on drugs. My bra strap was broken because the boys kept pulling it, I got hit and punched in class sitting at my desk.  Well, high school was different for me and all the people that used to bully me wanted to date me.  Like the ugly duckling, I blossomed and became very pretty.  Well, we were all from a low income level, that was the school we went to, to this day, it has very poor ratings.  But, the main bullies that bullied me are not married, one still lives at home with his father, another does drugs and is not married and another is not married and does not have children.  In teachers college, when doing a practicum, I met up with my old bully and he had very bad teeth, ripped clothing and worked in a shop selling car parts and he was living in a hotel and telling me with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth how he loves his life because he has many different girlfriends, some have boyfriends or are married but that is okay with him etc.  He did not realize how ridiculous he sounded.  Needless to say that my bullies are doing worse than I am.  None are married with children or have amazing careers.  I have a family and I am lucky to be a stay at home mom and I still have an education.  So, I have learned not to be so mad because they turned out to have a lot of issues of their own.

I just don't want my son and daughter to go down the same road I did.  I see signs in my sons behaviour of passivity, not standing up for himself and he cries easily.  So, I would like to give him the tools to not be a victim.  But how?

When I was 8 years old, we moved to a new town. I was the new kid in the fourth-grade class in a very small school -- one class per grade level. I was smart. When we had to recite multiplication tables -- which I hadn't learned in my previous school -- I did them off the top of my head, going as far as 7x7 before making a mistake.

The bullying started almost immediately. They called me "Wiggy" because I had hair so dark that the adults couldn't believe it was mine -- it surely couldn't be naturally dark given my white skin and blue-green eyes. My smarts didn't help. The bullying quickly escalated. Punches on the playground. Getting poked with pencils in class. Tripped by classmates. Food thrown in my hair. Slammed to the floor in the classroom. 

It was so bad I developed a horrific cough that miraculously stopped when my mom kept me home from school.

When I sought help, the teacher called me a tattletale. The bullying got worse, finally reaching a peak the day my father came to pick me up after school for a dental appointment. I stood in the doorway, frozen in terror, sobbing. Two boys had said they were going to beat me up after school that day. As we walked around the corner of the building, they jumped out of the bushes. My dad collared them and dragged them into the school, where he raged at the building principal for the school's failure to protect me. The ringleader was moved to another school, but the damage was done.

It has been 38 years since those days, and they are still fresh, still painful. Despite therapy, I still have a hard time trusting people. I have friends, but only a handful really know me. I have a hard time believing that people really like me. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the facade of friendship to be replaced by the bully I expect is there.
I go out of my way to point it out when someone is bullying. Making fun of someone because of who they are is completely unacceptable -- and the adults are the biggest problem. People think it's OK to label a child as fat, to make fun of people who are natural redheads, to make fun of people who are less fortunate.

It is not. 

We have to stop thinking it's OK to make rude comments about other people -- whatever the reason. When we as adults make them, our children get the message it's OK to make them -- and that leads to bullying.

The scars I have are, for the most part, invisible. But they are there, and they are still raw in many ways. That's what bullying does.  It is NEVER OK. 

My story is the standard for bullying: being a minority, being different, dressing differently, being smart...those are all reasons people have been bullied for and it's sad that I'm a part of such a huge number of victims of bullying. I was constantly sad and lonely. I honestly believed no one at school cared about me.

But I have to tell you guys about the One who saved my life. Sure, most people talk about the bullies and the jerks, emphasizing the negative, but sometimes, there is just that one person who cares enough to speak out. When I was in Grade 10 (a sophomore), a girl spoke up because she had seen something I wrote about not wanting to be around. She reported it thinking the worse, that I was potentially suicidal. The truth is, I was wanting to run away from home. But from her having done what she did, I was sent to a counselor that helped me address some of the deeper issues I had and how bullying impacted me.

So remember, it only takes one to help. If you can help someone, do it. They'll thank you for it and remember your kindness, even 10 years later.

I have always been over weight. I hated it, I espeially hated it when other kids would taunt me. If I spoke to a girl she would be taunted because she was associating with me. I had rocks thrown at me, I even, one day under the guise of friendship was peed on. I developed a hard exterior that as I grew older I put on a persona to be accepted by people, all the mean while the emotions I had were hidden from everyone around me. I started developing self destructive behaviors, excessive drinking, drug use, and all the associated risks that comes with that behavior. Even, as I grew older I would self mutilate. Hiding the cuts under my arms pits where no one would see them. Fortunately my girlfriend at the time who had dated a marine with PTSD said that she saw some of the same behaviors in me and pushed me to get help. Currently I am in therapy and at age 30 I'm finally learning to trust and connect with people again.

I was bullied in school for several reasons. I was in a lower socioeconomic bracket; I was emotionally immature and highly sensitive; I had ugly clothes and very curly hair. Kids called me a lot of different names and it was painful. I developed low self-esteem and lost the courage to speak. I still have social anxiety. I wasn't born with it...it was learned. I have forgiven ALL my tormentors. It was a long long time ago, and kids can be cruel. Just as I needed to grow up and mature, so did they, and it doesn't help me to hold a grudge. It doesn't help anyone. These same children have grown up into caring individuals and have children of their own. My only concern at this point is to help my children get through school and not have to deal with being bullied, and also, to make sure they don't do the bullying. We can't do anything in the 'now' if we spend too much time in the past. If bullying has affected our lives, we should be proactive and try to make a difference.

i was bullied relentlessly in school. from third grade all the way through highschool. i was barked at and kids would throw dog food at me. i was called pizza face bc i had bad acne and miss piggy bc i was a little chubby. i was called a dike bc i had short hair. i see my tormentors on facebook and i still get upset amost 13 yrs later. i contrmplated suicide numerous times and im so glsd i held on. i have a wonderful hisband and beautiful baby boy. im successful at work and i will stand up for my son chain myself to the schools doors to protect him. god bless those who have taken their own lives i eill speak out for you it woild be my honor to.

Words hurt but you can change what is said.

I was bullied non-stop when I was in middle school, I was called fat, ugly, stupid, and everything that middle school kids come up with. Everyday that I walked into the gates of my middle school I felt that I was laughed at and teased I loved to learn so I always sat at the front of my class but that quickly became a problem, from behind me I heard laughing and talking now because i was bullied and laughed at and pushed around I always thought that the kids were laughing at me. I was Picked on for being different and standing outside of the crowd, I had a short hair cut and looked like a boy(I'm a girl) so all the girls thought I was weird just because of the hair cut I had, I never wanted to go to school I was always absent and now I struggle because of it, I never told my mom or my grandparents because I didn't want them to think that I was weird or stupid like the kids told me I was. I'm really happy now as a freshmen in high school but the reason is someone stuck up for me. The person who did was a older girl she showed me that if you have a voice you should use it to speak out and stop the kids who are making fun if you speak out for yourself then you can change things, I learned that if more people used there voice then we could stop bulling. Things get better don't let things get pushed to the side and hushed use the voice that god gave you! Let's make the bully project so big that people can't push it to the side anymore!!

-Diana Lugo

I was born with a rare disability called Dandy Walker Syndrome. I was bullied first in first grade. I thought nothing of it. All through elementary school I thought nothing of it. When middle school hit, I was still being bullied. I thought that if I looked different in a cooler way, people would like me. So I turned emo. When I was in eighth grade, that's when I started having suicidal thoughts. When middle school ended, I thought the bullying was over. Then high school hit. In high school, that's when the suicidal thoughts became actions. I tried committing suicide about nine times now. Fortunately, I started being home schooled in the middle of my junior year, I am no longer emo, but I still am a cutter. When I say I tried committing suicide, I tried EVERYTHING. Drowning, overdosing, hanging, cutting, shooting, you name it, I tried it. I made zero friends at my school. I was being bullied so severely, and NOBODY did anything about it. But as I said, I am being home schooled now, I actually have friends now, I am no longer emo, I am still a cutter, but I am getting help and seeing a counselor. Still, it sickens me that anyone can be okay with the fact that someone is bullying someone else so much that they harm themselves. Bullying needs to stop, and it needs to stop NOW. 

Half my life I have been put down for the way I looked, the things I wore, the people I hung out with, and the way my body was. I felt worthless like ready to die every day. I would go home from school crying or just upset because someone started a fight or made fun of me. The school never saw an issue.. They thought maybe the kids will grove out of it but thats crap. Today I am living above bullying even after suicide attempts and self injury because of it I know I am better. Today I stand tall with my LGBT commuinty and I love everyone who can ever be loved. GAY IS OKAY