Ever since I've been in school, I've been the ugly kid. I couldn't go one day without people insulting me. However, I acted like it was nothing. I grew up with a drunk dad who was never emotionally there. My parents got divorced when I was thirteen and then my mom got remarried. We had to move because he rejoined the Army. We got stationed in Hawai'i, and I hated it; and I still do. For two months I didn't have any friends because no one wanted to talk to me. Then I met this guy on the Internet. He is now my best friend, although we've never met, and he's honestly the reason I'm still here. Around a year ago, my step-dad started abusing me. Everything I'd ever bottled up finally came back to bite me in the butt. I started cutting and it got to the point where I'd bleed so much that I'd almost pass out, and I'd do that every day. That best friend I mentioned, I fell in love with him. He acted like he felt the same but now we can hardly even talk to each other. It seems all I do is hurt people and I have gotten so suicidal lately. I was diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD and I get really bad anxiety attacks. But the meds I'm on don't help at all. I just don't know what to do anymore really.